When are you ever good Enough?

self evaluation

I have struggled with low self-esteem for a great part of my life.  I can give many reasons that have fed into this, but one thing I have come to realize was that I was not loving my self enough.  I remember an epiphany at a religious assembly when I sat at the lunch table with my spiritual and fleshly family.  We were all laughing and talking–we love one another so much.  But there has always been a tendency to at as some point make me the focus of a joke.  I would always laugh along good-heartedly.  But the joke this particular day was how I would always give so much of myself.  Indeed the point being–just before they burst into laughter–that I would literally give the shirt off of my back.  I laughed too.  It was true.  Haven’t we all heard that phrase in reference to being a good thing?

Well in the months to come, I would begin to suffer from spiritual shipwreck.  I wasn’t walking true to my path and it was beginning to become more pronounced.  And in the midst of this suffering, I would continue to reflect on that statement.  Eventually I began what I call my walk in the wilderness.  And ironically it was when I came into the light.  It was when I became my most authentic me.  It was when I learned to love myself as much as I loved others. Part of that came with accepting the good and bad parts of me. Pivotally, it was when I learned I would never be doing anyone a favor by taking my symbolic or literal shirt off thereby leaving myself in a naked state for the sake of another.  Typically, if we give too much of ourselves, whether mental, physical or emotional–what do we have left?  We would no long be  any good for ourselves or others.  See, sometimes, we need to take a step back from a situation and recharge our battery so to speak, to avoid risk of physical, mental or emotional bankruptcy.

Still, there are times that I have to get into the psychological corner and have some strong talks.  There are times I have to pray and let the love of friends soothe me like oil.  Those are the times that I am reminded that I am loved by God and many.  But last month I still wondered, was I good enough–this time in relation to my writing.

I actually petitioned a colleague’s opinion and of course she couldn’t answer the question that was deep within me.   Of course, no other person can–not if we the person is not convinced.  Now mind you, this was at a time that I had sold over 500 of  my latest book!  Still I questioned this.  Am I good enough?  That has to be individually answered and dependent on the circumstances.  Sometimes the answer is no.  My husband’s cooking is definitely better than mine.  It doesn’t define me as a person.  There are plenty of great authors whose writing is infinitely better than mine.  That doesn’t define me as a person–at least it shouldn’t.  🙂

There are plenty of situations in which I will never be good enough.  If you’re having surgery–you don’t want the scalpel in my hands!

But when it comes to my value as a person the answer must be a resounding yes!  Yes I deserve love.  Yes I am worthy of love.  Yes my value as a person and what I contribute to this world is ENOUGH–at least to those who really matter.

This is something I entreat everyone to consider and hopefully you will agree.  You are loved–you are Enough!

 #self-love #self-value

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8 thoughts on “When are you ever good Enough?

  1. Hi Ms. Nikki,

    I so enjoyed reading your story. It reminded me of my own. I have always been a plus size person, and struggled with myself. My epiphany came when I got ready to go to college. My had a long talk with me when I told her my fears. One thing she told me has stuck with me all these years, and my like has been great. She told me that “nobody is going to love you more than you love yourself, and if you love yourself, no one can break your spirit”, The year I went to college my life changed for the better. This one message I try to instill in my children so they can pass it on to their children. Be blessed.

  2. Yeah!!!! Applause!!!!! Now take a bow. That was wonderful. I don’t know what happened but hold onto it. You really need to frame this one and hang it where you can see it everyday. I love you and Jehovah certainly loves you. We think you are the best of the best.

    No One Can Walk Backwards into the Future. AND DON’T FORGET TO SHOP:www.youravon.com/afenty-brown

    From: Nikki’s Book Chats >To: fortyplus02@yahoo.com >Sent: Saturday, July 13, 2013 9:56 PM >Subject: [New post] When are you ever good Enough? > >Nikki’s Book Chats posted: ” I have struggled with low self-esteem for a great part of my life. I can give many reasons that have fed into this, but one thing I have come to realize was that I was not loving my self enough. I remember an epiphany at a religious assembly when I sa” >

    • Thanks so much Andrea. You know how much I have appreciated your support and encouragement over the years. Thanks for hanging in there with me! Thanks for being my best friend! ❤

  3. Hey Nikki! I’m sorry you struggle with this feeling of being good enough, worth enough or just as good, if not better. We all have our gifts. Some have not been realized and some people realize them early on and capitalize on them early on so they seem put together when you, who may be discovering what makes you so great, might feel inferior. God doesn’t make is perfect, he makes us flawed to humble us but the beauty is He has given us such great gifts to appreciate but mostly to share so that others will know Him. You do that with your writing and even if you don’t receive the accolades that others do, know that your writing, your words, your message is more than good enough and so are you.

    In regards to taking care of yourself to recharge, I do the same. Anything we participate in or friendships we have must be give and take. If we give all of ourselves without receiving, we burn out. It doesn’t mean that someone has to be the giver but there should be receipt of something that feeds you as much as you are feeding it. It helps to keep our giving going, wouldn’t you agree?

    I pray that you will understand your self worth to Him. Because it doesn’t matter what any person believes of you. You matter to Him Nikki.

    Have a wonderful Sunday.

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